WVMountainrear
Poster formerly known as lovelylady78
So since these new sub-forums opened up, I thought I'd try it out with a new thread.
I'm 33, and I've never been married. I was engaged once when I was young and stupid, but, in hindsight, it wasn't even a relationship I'd call "serious" (although to an 18 year old who'd just lost her virginity to this man, it was the be all and end all). I was very career-focused, and, while I certainly dated, I can't say there were a lot of men who I was anxious to bring home to my parents (so I didn't). This, of course, has lead to many questions from "concerned" family members (not my parents, incidentally-- more aunts and uncles and cousins) ranging from "what's wrong with you?" to "are you gay?".
Most of my cousins married young (and consequently divorced young but no one ever talks about that) and commenced to birthing babies, which leads me to the next point:
I'm 33, and I don't have any children. This also sometimes surprises people. I like to think it's because I'm so kind and maternal and not because I'm fat so people automatically assume there's a "legitimate" reason therefor.
I've always wanted children (just like I've always wanted to get married), but I've never been in the position to be able to focus on this goal seriously. I'm one of those traditional folks who'd prefer to get married first and then have babies. (Not that there's anything wrong with doing it other ways...my sister is a single parent who's never been married, and my niece is my pride and joy.) Besides simply not meeting someone I've gotten to the point of marriage and children with, I have other reasons for not presently jumping on the baby bandwagon: I'm still selfish with my time, I like sleeping in, they're expensive...and it's so easy NOT to get pregnant these days if you're taking the proper precautions.
The older I've gotten and the more fucked up my cousins' relationships, marriages, families, and situations have proven, the less my family has focused on such things. I think through getting to know me as an adult, they've come to accept I have a good head on my shoulders and want to make healthy, positive decisions for myself rather than rushing into commitments because it's what's expected of me either by them or by society.
So, anyway, I've waited to get married, and I've waited to have children. Do any of you other single and/or childless 30-somethings out there feel the scrutiny of others for either not being married or not having any children or both?
I'm 33, and I've never been married. I was engaged once when I was young and stupid, but, in hindsight, it wasn't even a relationship I'd call "serious" (although to an 18 year old who'd just lost her virginity to this man, it was the be all and end all). I was very career-focused, and, while I certainly dated, I can't say there were a lot of men who I was anxious to bring home to my parents (so I didn't). This, of course, has lead to many questions from "concerned" family members (not my parents, incidentally-- more aunts and uncles and cousins) ranging from "what's wrong with you?" to "are you gay?".
Most of my cousins married young (and consequently divorced young but no one ever talks about that) and commenced to birthing babies, which leads me to the next point:
I'm 33, and I don't have any children. This also sometimes surprises people. I like to think it's because I'm so kind and maternal and not because I'm fat so people automatically assume there's a "legitimate" reason therefor.
I've always wanted children (just like I've always wanted to get married), but I've never been in the position to be able to focus on this goal seriously. I'm one of those traditional folks who'd prefer to get married first and then have babies. (Not that there's anything wrong with doing it other ways...my sister is a single parent who's never been married, and my niece is my pride and joy.) Besides simply not meeting someone I've gotten to the point of marriage and children with, I have other reasons for not presently jumping on the baby bandwagon: I'm still selfish with my time, I like sleeping in, they're expensive...and it's so easy NOT to get pregnant these days if you're taking the proper precautions.The older I've gotten and the more fucked up my cousins' relationships, marriages, families, and situations have proven, the less my family has focused on such things. I think through getting to know me as an adult, they've come to accept I have a good head on my shoulders and want to make healthy, positive decisions for myself rather than rushing into commitments because it's what's expected of me either by them or by society.
So, anyway, I've waited to get married, and I've waited to have children. Do any of you other single and/or childless 30-somethings out there feel the scrutiny of others for either not being married or not having any children or both?
