~BBW, Romance - Matt takes a big step in his relationship with Tina
When somebody has a crush on someone else, even the smallest chance encounter causes one’s heart to beat faster and palms to get sweaty. If one plans on seeing the object of their affection at an event, then the nervous anticipation is almost crushing, threatening to kill the secret admirer. Such was the case for Matt when the Thursday water polo game approached. He was always anxious when US History rolled around since he and Tina were in the same room, but now he was going to something for the express purpose of seeing Tina and that seemed three times as bad. A lot of his nervousness came from the fact that he felt like just by virtue going to the game he’d be wearing a sign that said, in big capital letters, “I LIKE TINA WESTLEY!” Though he wanted so badly to tell her just that, the thought of simply doing so almost made his cheeks burn with crimson embarrassment.
However, this didn’t stop Matt from going to the game. Though he was more than a little scared about openly displaying his affection (though he certainly was doing nothing of the sort just by going to a public event), he couldn’t help but try to seize the opportunity to develop a greater rapport between him and Tina. It was an overcast day and he sat down on the cold metal bleachers that overlooked the currently calm pool and surveyed the scene. Water polo games didn’t seem to be that well attended. There was nobody here who he knew even remotely well. Sure, Liam O’Shea was there, but neither of them would call the other a friend. An acquaintance perhaps, but nothing more.
As a result, there was nothing that distracted Matt from observing Tina for the entire game. He fell into the rhythm of the game after a while, but still didn’t understand everything—like why there appeared to be penalties at some times and not others—though scoring was pretty straight forward. It seemed transitioning from offense to defense was pretty key, as well as setting up in the right formation for a goal.
What surprised Matt the most, however, was how physical the sport was. He didn’t really know what to expect going into his first water polo game, but now that he was here, he could tell that it certainly was a rough sport, and Tina seemed to be at the center of all of it. She wasn’t out looking for trouble, but she always seemed to be mixing it up with someone from the other team. Tina appeared to have good stamina, staying in the game even after some substitutions were made. He actually felt a little proud that he had a crush on a girl like Tina who was good at a sport.
When the game finished—in another RFK victory as Tina had hinted at—Matt hung around the bleachers as the junior varsity squads began warming up. He figured he’d wait for Tina to change and come out of the locker room, confidently stroll up to her and begin chatting away. Since not many people came to the games, Tina would doubtless have seen him and would be flattered that he’d come.
It sure did seem like it took a long time for them to get changed. In fact, the junior varsity game had already started. It doesn’t take that long to get changed, Matt thought as he checked his watch again. Despite the fact he wanted to stick around and see Tina, he felt like leaving if this was going to take all day. He kept looking towards the locker room door, hoping to see Tina come out, but to no avail. Jenna Shcherbatsky came out, looking a little rounder than usual, but still pretty good looking. So did Nina Hampton, the tall Senior captain of the team. And then Tina came out, chatting with Katie Rollins. Matt shifted eagerly in his seat as his heart began pounding all-too familiarly. He didn’t want to abruptly interrupt their conversation, but perhaps catch her once they’d finished.
And then Morgan Jones came up and started talking to Tina and Katie. Before long Chelsea Magyar was there and it was just one giant powwow. They were just standing around, shooting the breeze it seemed, probably talking about how well they’d played today in their 13-5 win.
Matt just got up and left. He knew this could take forever and he wasn’t willing to wait that long. He didn’t think much about why he left, he just did.
***
“Hey Wendy,” Tina said as she came on her shift, “How are you tonight?”
“All right. How’d the game go?” Wendy said, stopping at the hostesses station for a moment.
“It was a good game. We won,” Tina said. She and Wendy had gotten to know each other quite a bit and now they chatted about what was going on in their lives quite a bit.
“Glad to hear it. I wish I’d played a sport in high school,” Wendy said, “It must be so much fun.”
“Well it is a lot of work. On top of doing school work and actual work,” Tina said, “I’d drop some of it if I could, but that’s not happening any time soon.”
“Don’t worry. You’d kick yourself later if you did,” Wendy said.
The two went about their regular work schedules since they knew they weren’t being paid to titter away when there were customers to be served. Tina was constantly moving about the restaurant seating people, checking to make sure tables were ready, and generally keeping on her feet. It was tiring work and sometimes she worked up a decent sweat at the end of the night.
All of the movement made her breaks even more enjoyable, especially since she shared them with Wendy. The two tried to time it so they’d take a break and share a quick meal together. Tina had been trying different entrees and some were definitely better than others. She was a big fan of the various burgers and some of the sandwiches. She hadn’t gotten into trying any of the heavier entries like steaks or ribs yet, but they looked delicious.
“So, we’re both lovely young women,” Wendy said as she settled down with a chicken penne dish in a tantalizing alfredo sauce, “It’s a miracle we haven’t begun to giggle in a corner about our current crushes.”
The remark took Tina a bit off guard. “You don’t exactly seem like the giggling type,” Tina said, “You seem—”
“More mature? Well, I think I do a good job of hiding it. Trust me, you still get excited about boys as you get older. You might not be as nervous, but you’re always excited when you go on a date. Except when you’re my age, you just hope that a date doesn’t involve the guy getting absolutely fall-down drunk and puking all over your favorite shoes,” Wendy said.
“You’re joking,” Tina said in astonishment.
“Wish I was. I really liked those shoes too,” Wendy said with a sigh, “But that’s enough about my dating life these days. You’ve got to have been asked out by at least three guys lately.”
Tina blushed a bit. “Well, not exactly.”
“Okay. One good guy is better than three jerks,” Wendy said.
“Ummm…” Tina was searching for the right words to explain that she hadn’t been asked out by anyone lately. Or ever.
“Nobody?” Wendy said with surprise in her voice.
“Yeah,” Tina mumbled as she ate some of her chicken ranch sandwich.
Wendy didn’t say anything for a moment, but seemed to be thinking something over. “Wow. I guess high school boys got stupider since when I was in high school,” Wendy said with a shrug of her shoulders.
“I don’t think I get your drift,” Tina said.
“Well, why nobody would ask you out is just beyond me,” Wendy said, “I mean, you’re very attractive, pleasant, and have a wonderful personality. I mean, what more could a guy want?”
Tina shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t know. I guess I just don’t think about dating that much.”
Wendy snapped her fingers. “There we go! You’re not going to get any guys if you don’t help them out a little bit. You have to let them get to know you a bit. I bet a lot of guys just don’t know you well enough. If they knew you like I did, they’d be all over you.”
“Maybe,” Tina said, “I don’t know. I just don’t know if I want to be dating right now. I mean, it seems like an awful lot of trouble. I hear all about it when the girls are talking in the locker room. It seems like it’s just this endless train of drama, and even when it’s not it just seems like it’s a lot of work for me. Don’t get me wrong—some day I’d like to start dating. I just don’t know if I want that to be right now.”
“Fair enough,” Wendy said, “but I think you’re missing out if you just dismiss the idea out of hand.”
“We’ll just see what happens,” Tina said. She didn’t think that much was going to be happening.
***
“Matthew Sutherby! If you weren’t all the way over there I swear I would hit you right now!”
“Look, I had a lot of homework to do and I didn’t want to wait all day. They were taking forever and—”
“You chickened out!” Penny said.
“Look, I just figured there’d be other opportunities and it would be awkward if I was waiting around for such a long time just to talk to Tina,” Matt said, trying to defend himself.
“It would have been cute! Girls love it when boys show they care, and you had the perfect opportunity there for you! It would have shown that you were interested in what she does, which scores major points,” Penny explained, but not without some irritation and exasperation. It was as if Matt hadn’t learned a thing from everything she’d tried to teach him. “You just got nervous and left because it was an easy out. I bet you five bucks that three minutes after you left Tina was all alone and you would have had the perfect chance.”
“But I did have work,” Matt pled.
“We all have work Matt! I have work, Aaron has work, Tina has work, we all have stuff we have to do,” Penny said, “Here’s the thing: we all make time for things we care about. You made time to go to a water polo game, Aaron and I make time to see each other, and if Tina liked you she’d make the time to talk to you. You had the time to wait for Tina, but you used the whole situation as an excuse not to even say, ‘Hi. Great game,’ to her.”
“And what if she didn’t want to talk to me?” Matt replied. He regretted it the moment it came out of his mouth. He knew what was coming next.
“Then she doesn’t like you! It’s that simple!” Penny said, “You dust yourself off and pull yourself together for the next girl. That’s the way the game is played. I know that you don’t like hearing no, but it’s worth it to just give it a shot.”
Matt sighed. He didn’t have anything to say to that.
“Look, just look for the next opportunity and just ask her to dinner or something. Don’t over think it,” Penny replied.
“All right,” Matt said.
“And you’re really going to do it this time?”
“Yes.”
“There we go. You know I really do want this to work out for you Matt. If I didn’t, I think I would have given up on you a long time ago,” Penny remarked.
This was one of the days where Matt sort of wished that Penny would.
***
The next day, Matt was already brooding over when to plan his next opportunity. Penny had given him enough of a pep talk the day before to get his courage up again. Truth be told, he really did want to ask Tina out, but he did get scared. He knew that he didn’t want to hear the dreaded single syllable of “No” and he’d often not ask a girl out to avoid being rejected. One would think that he would have gotten used to it after so many failed attempts, for his dejection at rejection only seemed to increase with each new instance. Yet if he had a big enough crush on a girl, he’d somehow muster the courage to pull himself together and just ask her out. He was getting to that point with Tina. She was certainly attractive enough. That straight blonde hair, those sparkling eyes, that sweet smile, those great breasts…
As he walked along the halls, Matt snapped back to himself. There was no sense to get too excited over Tina yet. Maybe if she said yes he’d allow himself to think about her endowments. Or her hips. Tina had great hips. There was a gentle, flowing curve to them. And her butt. What an ass. Tina knew how to pick the right jeans to show it off…
And it was precisely at that point that Matt rounded a corner and slammed right into Tina.
The two didn’t tumble to the ground, but Tina had dropped a book she’d been holding and their heads smarted from where they’d knocked together with a slight yelp on Tina’s part.
“Are you okay?” Matt asked instantly as he rubbed his forehead, “I’m so sorry!”
“Yeah, just a bump,” Tina said as she knelt down to get her book, “I’ve taken worse in water polo games for sure.”
“Yeah, I’ll say,” Matt replied. Tina looked at him with a quizzical look as she stood up. “I mean, I went to the game yesterday. I saw you there. It looked pretty rough out there.”
“Yeah, it can be,” Tina said, “I wasn’t sure if I saw you there or not, but guess I did.”
“Yeah,” Matt said, “I had to run afterwards.”
Tina nodded by way of response.
Matt impulsively knew that this was the right moment to ask Tina out in. He didn’t know how or why, but he knew that it was. “Say, I was wondering if you might like to catch dinner sometime.”
“Oh!” Tina exclaimed suddenly, perhaps a little louder than she might have intended. The question caught her completely by surprise. Matt Sutherby! Matt Sutherby liked her! Tina didn’t even know what to say. Nobody had ever asked her out before. She barely even knew him. Tina tried to think of what people said when this sort of thing happened. She knew it had to, but nobody had ever told her what you do in this situation. “Gee, I…that’s nice of you. But I’m really busy, what with water polo and my job and school and stuff. Sorry. I’ll see you later.” Tina put her head down and hurriedly took off down the hall, leaving Matt Sutherby alone.
Matt stood there for a moment and then started walking the opposite direction down the hall.
***
“You’re awfully quiet today,” Katie Rollins said to Tina later that afternoon. They were chilling out at Katie’s home, relaxing and watching TV together. They did so when they both had free time, which wasn’t all the time with Tina’s work schedule and the fact they both had water polo practices and games didn’t help things either.
“Just don’t have that much to say,” Tina replied.
“Oh come on Tina. You and I know each other pretty well,” the slim freckled girl said, “You may not always have a lot to say, but you’ve usually got something to say. You’re not saying anything today.”
“Just a weird day,” Tina said, trying to turn back to the TV to end the conversation.
“What do you mean ‘weird’?” Katie asked. Tina had obviously used the wrong adjective in trying to stop Katie from probing deeper.
“It’s nothing,” Tina said, “I don’t want to talk about it.”
Katie grabbed the remote and turned the TV off. “‘I don’t want to talk about it,’ is just another way of saying that you’re upset over something. You shouldn’t just bottle these sorts of things up Tina.”
“No, it’s not that,” Tina said, “It’s just that…well…I don’t know. It’s just a little weird.”
“Just tell me about it. I promise I’ll keep it to myself,” Katie said. Tina knew that she would too. Katie was a discreet person, and was often honestly concerned with other people’s problems. It was probably why she and Emily Nyberg got along so well together.
“Well…” Tina started, “It’s just that I got asked out today—”
“Really?!” Katie said, nearly jumping out of her seat with excitement, “That’s great!” She stopped for a moment as a realization hit her. “Oh. And this wasn’t good?” Katie couldn’t quite figure out how it wouldn’t be good, but she figured that Tina would explain soon enough.
Tina shifted her stout body uncomfortably on the couch. “Well, it was Matt Sutherby.”
“Matt Sutherby?” Katie asked, “He asked you out?”
“Yeah,” Tina said.
Katie paused for a moment. “Do you know him at all?”
“Not really.”
“Hmmmm. Well I guess he really thinks you’re cute then,” Katie said.
Tina’s head snapped up. “Huh?”
“Well if you two don’t know each other that well, it’s probably not because of your personality. I think he definitely thinks you’re hot,” Katie said.
Tina’s face went red. “I…no, no he doesn’t.”
“What? You don’t think you’re cute? You are you know.”
“No, it’s not that, it’s just…” Tina stuttered, “Look, I really need to go now. I’ve got work later tonight and I’m behind in reading for History and everything. We can talk about this later.”
Katie scrutinized Tina for a moment, but didn’t stop her. “All right. See you at practice tomorrow.” Katie decided it was definitely better to just let Tina leave right now.
As Tina drove off, emotions that had been simmering beneath the surface of her mind were now no longer checked. Truth be told, being asked out by Matt had rattled her a bit. It wasn’t the fact that it had been Matt who had asked her out. It was more to do with the fact that someone had asked her out at all. She didn’t know how to handle the situation.
The biggest problem about the situation was precisely what Katie had pointed out—Matt found her attractive. Flattering as it was (and it was a little flattering), the idea couldn’t quite compute in Tina’s head. She was well aware that she was somewhat on the larger size, though she knew she could have been fatter. Nor was Tina ashamed of her size at all. As stout girls go, she was a pretty confident one, considering she didn’t hide her figure in sweats, but instead dressed fashionably and tastefully in ways that made the most of her figure. But despite the fact that Tina was secure in her size, she just couldn’t comprehend that someone would find that attractive.
Maybe it was because Tina had never really thought about what it would be like when someone asked her out. Then again, perhaps it was because she was a little larger that Tina had never thought much about it. But whatever the ultimate reason, Tina had never thought that it would be because someone thought she was hot. She just assumed these things sort of happened in some haphazard fashion. In fact, if she’d taken a poll of her friends, she would have found out that they often did, but that physical attraction often played a very prominent role in early motivations for dating someone. But Tina hadn’t, so she didn’t know.
As she drove along, Tina knew it wasn’t that she was dissatisfied with herself. That she knew. She liked what she saw in the mirror every morning. She’d seen many other girls who were beautiful, but still hated their bodies because they felt they didn’t measure up to some supposed standard of beauty. Tina had long since sworn to herself that she wasn’t going to be one of those girls. But that only made the question of why being asked out by Matt had upset her so much burn all the fiercer in her mind.
No matter how hard she tried, she didn’t have an answer.
***
That same afternoon, Matt exercised a right he and Penny had long ago established: the ability to walk into the other’s home pretty much unannounced. He didn’t use it often, but today he did.
The moment Penny saw him the friendly greeting dropped off her lips as they fell from a smile into an open mouth of disappointment.
“She said no,” Matt said, with anger and sadness mixing in his voice. He threw himself on Penny’s couch and put his head in his hands.
“I’m sorry Matt,” Penny said as she sat down next to her friend and put an arm around him. She leaned her head against his shoulder. “I really am.”
“Why does this always happen to me?” Matt said, his anger gaining the upper hand, “Why me? I’m a nice guy. I take the trouble of asking girls out. It’s not like I go hide and long for women in the distance. It’s not fair.”
“No it’s not,” Penny said simply.
“And just look at the guys who have women fall into their laps, only to break up with them and leave them in tears a couple months later,” Matt continued, “Why do they get all the luck?”
“Some people just set themselves up for that sort of thing,” Penny replied.
“And it’s not like I’m trying to date out of my league or anything like that,” Matt said, “I ask girls out who I legitimately think I have a shot at. Nice girls. And they all say no. Why do I even bother?”
“Because that’s the way we are. We can’t just turn it off. If we could, we wouldn’t be human,” Penny said, “We want to share life with someone else. It’s really wonderful…but I realize that doesn’t make you feel any better right now.”
“Worse actually,” Matt admitted.
“Sorry,” Penny apologized.
“It’s okay. I know you’re just trying to help.”
“I’m sorry I can’t help more.”
“I just don’t understand what it is that I do wrong,” Matt said as sadness crept up on him.
Penny wasn’t sure to say to that. She didn’t want to say that maybe he just had bad luck in choosing women in the first place, but the thought had crossed her mind several times. “I don’t know,” she said, “I realize that this isn’t going to go over well, but you can’t worry about that. If you did, you’d always be trying to change something else, only to find out you’d have to change something else. Just worry about being who you are. There’ll be somebody who appreciates that one day. I know you don’t want to wait, but sometimes there’s just no way around it.” Penny paused. “I’m proud of you for trying, though.”
“Thanks,” Matt said.
“Want me to bake some cookies for you?” Penny suggested.
“They do make a pretty good consolation prize…” Matt said.
“Come on then, help me out a little bit and you’ll get them sooner,” Penny said getting up.
Matt followed her. He knew how the remainder of his day was going to go. After he left Penny’s and went home, he’d spent the remainder of the day alternating between sulking and being angry. Sometimes he’d be angry at the system that put all of the pressure on the guys to ask girls out, sometimes he’d be angry at Tina for not having said yes. It was always much the same whenever he got turned down by a girl, and the entire experience was always enough to make him swear off worrying about girls a day or two after the event. But he’d always come back to it. He couldn’t stay away, just like Penny had said. Perhaps it was a mild form of sadism or something else, but someone else always caught his eye.
But Matt did know one other thing for sure: though he might always look at her and consider her good looking, he’d never ask Tina Westley out again.
(Click here for next installment)
When somebody has a crush on someone else, even the smallest chance encounter causes one’s heart to beat faster and palms to get sweaty. If one plans on seeing the object of their affection at an event, then the nervous anticipation is almost crushing, threatening to kill the secret admirer. Such was the case for Matt when the Thursday water polo game approached. He was always anxious when US History rolled around since he and Tina were in the same room, but now he was going to something for the express purpose of seeing Tina and that seemed three times as bad. A lot of his nervousness came from the fact that he felt like just by virtue going to the game he’d be wearing a sign that said, in big capital letters, “I LIKE TINA WESTLEY!” Though he wanted so badly to tell her just that, the thought of simply doing so almost made his cheeks burn with crimson embarrassment.
However, this didn’t stop Matt from going to the game. Though he was more than a little scared about openly displaying his affection (though he certainly was doing nothing of the sort just by going to a public event), he couldn’t help but try to seize the opportunity to develop a greater rapport between him and Tina. It was an overcast day and he sat down on the cold metal bleachers that overlooked the currently calm pool and surveyed the scene. Water polo games didn’t seem to be that well attended. There was nobody here who he knew even remotely well. Sure, Liam O’Shea was there, but neither of them would call the other a friend. An acquaintance perhaps, but nothing more.
As a result, there was nothing that distracted Matt from observing Tina for the entire game. He fell into the rhythm of the game after a while, but still didn’t understand everything—like why there appeared to be penalties at some times and not others—though scoring was pretty straight forward. It seemed transitioning from offense to defense was pretty key, as well as setting up in the right formation for a goal.
What surprised Matt the most, however, was how physical the sport was. He didn’t really know what to expect going into his first water polo game, but now that he was here, he could tell that it certainly was a rough sport, and Tina seemed to be at the center of all of it. She wasn’t out looking for trouble, but she always seemed to be mixing it up with someone from the other team. Tina appeared to have good stamina, staying in the game even after some substitutions were made. He actually felt a little proud that he had a crush on a girl like Tina who was good at a sport.
When the game finished—in another RFK victory as Tina had hinted at—Matt hung around the bleachers as the junior varsity squads began warming up. He figured he’d wait for Tina to change and come out of the locker room, confidently stroll up to her and begin chatting away. Since not many people came to the games, Tina would doubtless have seen him and would be flattered that he’d come.
It sure did seem like it took a long time for them to get changed. In fact, the junior varsity game had already started. It doesn’t take that long to get changed, Matt thought as he checked his watch again. Despite the fact he wanted to stick around and see Tina, he felt like leaving if this was going to take all day. He kept looking towards the locker room door, hoping to see Tina come out, but to no avail. Jenna Shcherbatsky came out, looking a little rounder than usual, but still pretty good looking. So did Nina Hampton, the tall Senior captain of the team. And then Tina came out, chatting with Katie Rollins. Matt shifted eagerly in his seat as his heart began pounding all-too familiarly. He didn’t want to abruptly interrupt their conversation, but perhaps catch her once they’d finished.
And then Morgan Jones came up and started talking to Tina and Katie. Before long Chelsea Magyar was there and it was just one giant powwow. They were just standing around, shooting the breeze it seemed, probably talking about how well they’d played today in their 13-5 win.
Matt just got up and left. He knew this could take forever and he wasn’t willing to wait that long. He didn’t think much about why he left, he just did.
***
“Hey Wendy,” Tina said as she came on her shift, “How are you tonight?”
“All right. How’d the game go?” Wendy said, stopping at the hostesses station for a moment.
“It was a good game. We won,” Tina said. She and Wendy had gotten to know each other quite a bit and now they chatted about what was going on in their lives quite a bit.
“Glad to hear it. I wish I’d played a sport in high school,” Wendy said, “It must be so much fun.”
“Well it is a lot of work. On top of doing school work and actual work,” Tina said, “I’d drop some of it if I could, but that’s not happening any time soon.”
“Don’t worry. You’d kick yourself later if you did,” Wendy said.
The two went about their regular work schedules since they knew they weren’t being paid to titter away when there were customers to be served. Tina was constantly moving about the restaurant seating people, checking to make sure tables were ready, and generally keeping on her feet. It was tiring work and sometimes she worked up a decent sweat at the end of the night.
All of the movement made her breaks even more enjoyable, especially since she shared them with Wendy. The two tried to time it so they’d take a break and share a quick meal together. Tina had been trying different entrees and some were definitely better than others. She was a big fan of the various burgers and some of the sandwiches. She hadn’t gotten into trying any of the heavier entries like steaks or ribs yet, but they looked delicious.
“So, we’re both lovely young women,” Wendy said as she settled down with a chicken penne dish in a tantalizing alfredo sauce, “It’s a miracle we haven’t begun to giggle in a corner about our current crushes.”
The remark took Tina a bit off guard. “You don’t exactly seem like the giggling type,” Tina said, “You seem—”
“More mature? Well, I think I do a good job of hiding it. Trust me, you still get excited about boys as you get older. You might not be as nervous, but you’re always excited when you go on a date. Except when you’re my age, you just hope that a date doesn’t involve the guy getting absolutely fall-down drunk and puking all over your favorite shoes,” Wendy said.
“You’re joking,” Tina said in astonishment.
“Wish I was. I really liked those shoes too,” Wendy said with a sigh, “But that’s enough about my dating life these days. You’ve got to have been asked out by at least three guys lately.”
Tina blushed a bit. “Well, not exactly.”
“Okay. One good guy is better than three jerks,” Wendy said.
“Ummm…” Tina was searching for the right words to explain that she hadn’t been asked out by anyone lately. Or ever.
“Nobody?” Wendy said with surprise in her voice.
“Yeah,” Tina mumbled as she ate some of her chicken ranch sandwich.
Wendy didn’t say anything for a moment, but seemed to be thinking something over. “Wow. I guess high school boys got stupider since when I was in high school,” Wendy said with a shrug of her shoulders.
“I don’t think I get your drift,” Tina said.
“Well, why nobody would ask you out is just beyond me,” Wendy said, “I mean, you’re very attractive, pleasant, and have a wonderful personality. I mean, what more could a guy want?”
Tina shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t know. I guess I just don’t think about dating that much.”
Wendy snapped her fingers. “There we go! You’re not going to get any guys if you don’t help them out a little bit. You have to let them get to know you a bit. I bet a lot of guys just don’t know you well enough. If they knew you like I did, they’d be all over you.”
“Maybe,” Tina said, “I don’t know. I just don’t know if I want to be dating right now. I mean, it seems like an awful lot of trouble. I hear all about it when the girls are talking in the locker room. It seems like it’s just this endless train of drama, and even when it’s not it just seems like it’s a lot of work for me. Don’t get me wrong—some day I’d like to start dating. I just don’t know if I want that to be right now.”
“Fair enough,” Wendy said, “but I think you’re missing out if you just dismiss the idea out of hand.”
“We’ll just see what happens,” Tina said. She didn’t think that much was going to be happening.
***
“Matthew Sutherby! If you weren’t all the way over there I swear I would hit you right now!”
“Look, I had a lot of homework to do and I didn’t want to wait all day. They were taking forever and—”
“You chickened out!” Penny said.
“Look, I just figured there’d be other opportunities and it would be awkward if I was waiting around for such a long time just to talk to Tina,” Matt said, trying to defend himself.
“It would have been cute! Girls love it when boys show they care, and you had the perfect opportunity there for you! It would have shown that you were interested in what she does, which scores major points,” Penny explained, but not without some irritation and exasperation. It was as if Matt hadn’t learned a thing from everything she’d tried to teach him. “You just got nervous and left because it was an easy out. I bet you five bucks that three minutes after you left Tina was all alone and you would have had the perfect chance.”
“But I did have work,” Matt pled.
“We all have work Matt! I have work, Aaron has work, Tina has work, we all have stuff we have to do,” Penny said, “Here’s the thing: we all make time for things we care about. You made time to go to a water polo game, Aaron and I make time to see each other, and if Tina liked you she’d make the time to talk to you. You had the time to wait for Tina, but you used the whole situation as an excuse not to even say, ‘Hi. Great game,’ to her.”
“And what if she didn’t want to talk to me?” Matt replied. He regretted it the moment it came out of his mouth. He knew what was coming next.
“Then she doesn’t like you! It’s that simple!” Penny said, “You dust yourself off and pull yourself together for the next girl. That’s the way the game is played. I know that you don’t like hearing no, but it’s worth it to just give it a shot.”
Matt sighed. He didn’t have anything to say to that.
“Look, just look for the next opportunity and just ask her to dinner or something. Don’t over think it,” Penny replied.
“All right,” Matt said.
“And you’re really going to do it this time?”
“Yes.”
“There we go. You know I really do want this to work out for you Matt. If I didn’t, I think I would have given up on you a long time ago,” Penny remarked.
This was one of the days where Matt sort of wished that Penny would.
***
The next day, Matt was already brooding over when to plan his next opportunity. Penny had given him enough of a pep talk the day before to get his courage up again. Truth be told, he really did want to ask Tina out, but he did get scared. He knew that he didn’t want to hear the dreaded single syllable of “No” and he’d often not ask a girl out to avoid being rejected. One would think that he would have gotten used to it after so many failed attempts, for his dejection at rejection only seemed to increase with each new instance. Yet if he had a big enough crush on a girl, he’d somehow muster the courage to pull himself together and just ask her out. He was getting to that point with Tina. She was certainly attractive enough. That straight blonde hair, those sparkling eyes, that sweet smile, those great breasts…
As he walked along the halls, Matt snapped back to himself. There was no sense to get too excited over Tina yet. Maybe if she said yes he’d allow himself to think about her endowments. Or her hips. Tina had great hips. There was a gentle, flowing curve to them. And her butt. What an ass. Tina knew how to pick the right jeans to show it off…
And it was precisely at that point that Matt rounded a corner and slammed right into Tina.
The two didn’t tumble to the ground, but Tina had dropped a book she’d been holding and their heads smarted from where they’d knocked together with a slight yelp on Tina’s part.
“Are you okay?” Matt asked instantly as he rubbed his forehead, “I’m so sorry!”
“Yeah, just a bump,” Tina said as she knelt down to get her book, “I’ve taken worse in water polo games for sure.”
“Yeah, I’ll say,” Matt replied. Tina looked at him with a quizzical look as she stood up. “I mean, I went to the game yesterday. I saw you there. It looked pretty rough out there.”
“Yeah, it can be,” Tina said, “I wasn’t sure if I saw you there or not, but guess I did.”
“Yeah,” Matt said, “I had to run afterwards.”
Tina nodded by way of response.
Matt impulsively knew that this was the right moment to ask Tina out in. He didn’t know how or why, but he knew that it was. “Say, I was wondering if you might like to catch dinner sometime.”
“Oh!” Tina exclaimed suddenly, perhaps a little louder than she might have intended. The question caught her completely by surprise. Matt Sutherby! Matt Sutherby liked her! Tina didn’t even know what to say. Nobody had ever asked her out before. She barely even knew him. Tina tried to think of what people said when this sort of thing happened. She knew it had to, but nobody had ever told her what you do in this situation. “Gee, I…that’s nice of you. But I’m really busy, what with water polo and my job and school and stuff. Sorry. I’ll see you later.” Tina put her head down and hurriedly took off down the hall, leaving Matt Sutherby alone.
Matt stood there for a moment and then started walking the opposite direction down the hall.
***
“You’re awfully quiet today,” Katie Rollins said to Tina later that afternoon. They were chilling out at Katie’s home, relaxing and watching TV together. They did so when they both had free time, which wasn’t all the time with Tina’s work schedule and the fact they both had water polo practices and games didn’t help things either.
“Just don’t have that much to say,” Tina replied.
“Oh come on Tina. You and I know each other pretty well,” the slim freckled girl said, “You may not always have a lot to say, but you’ve usually got something to say. You’re not saying anything today.”
“Just a weird day,” Tina said, trying to turn back to the TV to end the conversation.
“What do you mean ‘weird’?” Katie asked. Tina had obviously used the wrong adjective in trying to stop Katie from probing deeper.
“It’s nothing,” Tina said, “I don’t want to talk about it.”
Katie grabbed the remote and turned the TV off. “‘I don’t want to talk about it,’ is just another way of saying that you’re upset over something. You shouldn’t just bottle these sorts of things up Tina.”
“No, it’s not that,” Tina said, “It’s just that…well…I don’t know. It’s just a little weird.”
“Just tell me about it. I promise I’ll keep it to myself,” Katie said. Tina knew that she would too. Katie was a discreet person, and was often honestly concerned with other people’s problems. It was probably why she and Emily Nyberg got along so well together.
“Well…” Tina started, “It’s just that I got asked out today—”
“Really?!” Katie said, nearly jumping out of her seat with excitement, “That’s great!” She stopped for a moment as a realization hit her. “Oh. And this wasn’t good?” Katie couldn’t quite figure out how it wouldn’t be good, but she figured that Tina would explain soon enough.
Tina shifted her stout body uncomfortably on the couch. “Well, it was Matt Sutherby.”
“Matt Sutherby?” Katie asked, “He asked you out?”
“Yeah,” Tina said.
Katie paused for a moment. “Do you know him at all?”
“Not really.”
“Hmmmm. Well I guess he really thinks you’re cute then,” Katie said.
Tina’s head snapped up. “Huh?”
“Well if you two don’t know each other that well, it’s probably not because of your personality. I think he definitely thinks you’re hot,” Katie said.
Tina’s face went red. “I…no, no he doesn’t.”
“What? You don’t think you’re cute? You are you know.”
“No, it’s not that, it’s just…” Tina stuttered, “Look, I really need to go now. I’ve got work later tonight and I’m behind in reading for History and everything. We can talk about this later.”
Katie scrutinized Tina for a moment, but didn’t stop her. “All right. See you at practice tomorrow.” Katie decided it was definitely better to just let Tina leave right now.
As Tina drove off, emotions that had been simmering beneath the surface of her mind were now no longer checked. Truth be told, being asked out by Matt had rattled her a bit. It wasn’t the fact that it had been Matt who had asked her out. It was more to do with the fact that someone had asked her out at all. She didn’t know how to handle the situation.
The biggest problem about the situation was precisely what Katie had pointed out—Matt found her attractive. Flattering as it was (and it was a little flattering), the idea couldn’t quite compute in Tina’s head. She was well aware that she was somewhat on the larger size, though she knew she could have been fatter. Nor was Tina ashamed of her size at all. As stout girls go, she was a pretty confident one, considering she didn’t hide her figure in sweats, but instead dressed fashionably and tastefully in ways that made the most of her figure. But despite the fact that Tina was secure in her size, she just couldn’t comprehend that someone would find that attractive.
Maybe it was because Tina had never really thought about what it would be like when someone asked her out. Then again, perhaps it was because she was a little larger that Tina had never thought much about it. But whatever the ultimate reason, Tina had never thought that it would be because someone thought she was hot. She just assumed these things sort of happened in some haphazard fashion. In fact, if she’d taken a poll of her friends, she would have found out that they often did, but that physical attraction often played a very prominent role in early motivations for dating someone. But Tina hadn’t, so she didn’t know.
As she drove along, Tina knew it wasn’t that she was dissatisfied with herself. That she knew. She liked what she saw in the mirror every morning. She’d seen many other girls who were beautiful, but still hated their bodies because they felt they didn’t measure up to some supposed standard of beauty. Tina had long since sworn to herself that she wasn’t going to be one of those girls. But that only made the question of why being asked out by Matt had upset her so much burn all the fiercer in her mind.
No matter how hard she tried, she didn’t have an answer.
***
That same afternoon, Matt exercised a right he and Penny had long ago established: the ability to walk into the other’s home pretty much unannounced. He didn’t use it often, but today he did.
The moment Penny saw him the friendly greeting dropped off her lips as they fell from a smile into an open mouth of disappointment.
“She said no,” Matt said, with anger and sadness mixing in his voice. He threw himself on Penny’s couch and put his head in his hands.
“I’m sorry Matt,” Penny said as she sat down next to her friend and put an arm around him. She leaned her head against his shoulder. “I really am.”
“Why does this always happen to me?” Matt said, his anger gaining the upper hand, “Why me? I’m a nice guy. I take the trouble of asking girls out. It’s not like I go hide and long for women in the distance. It’s not fair.”
“No it’s not,” Penny said simply.
“And just look at the guys who have women fall into their laps, only to break up with them and leave them in tears a couple months later,” Matt continued, “Why do they get all the luck?”
“Some people just set themselves up for that sort of thing,” Penny replied.
“And it’s not like I’m trying to date out of my league or anything like that,” Matt said, “I ask girls out who I legitimately think I have a shot at. Nice girls. And they all say no. Why do I even bother?”
“Because that’s the way we are. We can’t just turn it off. If we could, we wouldn’t be human,” Penny said, “We want to share life with someone else. It’s really wonderful…but I realize that doesn’t make you feel any better right now.”
“Worse actually,” Matt admitted.
“Sorry,” Penny apologized.
“It’s okay. I know you’re just trying to help.”
“I’m sorry I can’t help more.”
“I just don’t understand what it is that I do wrong,” Matt said as sadness crept up on him.
Penny wasn’t sure to say to that. She didn’t want to say that maybe he just had bad luck in choosing women in the first place, but the thought had crossed her mind several times. “I don’t know,” she said, “I realize that this isn’t going to go over well, but you can’t worry about that. If you did, you’d always be trying to change something else, only to find out you’d have to change something else. Just worry about being who you are. There’ll be somebody who appreciates that one day. I know you don’t want to wait, but sometimes there’s just no way around it.” Penny paused. “I’m proud of you for trying, though.”
“Thanks,” Matt said.
“Want me to bake some cookies for you?” Penny suggested.
“They do make a pretty good consolation prize…” Matt said.
“Come on then, help me out a little bit and you’ll get them sooner,” Penny said getting up.
Matt followed her. He knew how the remainder of his day was going to go. After he left Penny’s and went home, he’d spent the remainder of the day alternating between sulking and being angry. Sometimes he’d be angry at the system that put all of the pressure on the guys to ask girls out, sometimes he’d be angry at Tina for not having said yes. It was always much the same whenever he got turned down by a girl, and the entire experience was always enough to make him swear off worrying about girls a day or two after the event. But he’d always come back to it. He couldn’t stay away, just like Penny had said. Perhaps it was a mild form of sadism or something else, but someone else always caught his eye.
But Matt did know one other thing for sure: though he might always look at her and consider her good looking, he’d never ask Tina Westley out again.
(Click here for next installment)
