Dromond
Pleasantly abstruse.
I have something to tell you and something to ask of you.
I've chronicled the many ups and downs of life since I got together with Jackie. What you probably never expected to hear me say would be that our relationship might end someday.
Well, it's happened.
Now this doesn't come as a big shock to me. She's been emotionally unavailable ever since her son Jason died last July. She can emotionally connect with her two surviving children and grandchildren, but not to me. Jackie has no patience with me now, and pretty much won't let me touch her at any level beyond a chaste hug. So yeah, this isn't surprising.
She's had some very serious upheavals in her life. Five years ago she had three children, a career, a mountain cabin on several acres of beautiful woodland, a nice car, and she was healthy. She could do anything she wanted and life was good. Now she has two children, can't work, no income at all, a rolling piece of shit vehicle that isn't licensed, and her health is terrible. Her weight has been dropping because she has no appetite and has to be careful what she eats because she gets nauseous a lot.
That's a crippling amount of stuff to deal with, and I'm not a terribly easy person to live with. I know what I'm like. I'm a pain in the ass with a cage full of squirrels. She was able to deal back then. Now she can't. I do understand. She didn't choose any of this.
But there it is nonetheless, and I have to deal with it.
This happened last week. I made an attempt at reconciliation a couple of days ago and got rebuffed. She really does want to split up. In the main, that's good to know. There is no uncertainty. I appreciate the honesty. There is a part of me, though, that is really hurt. Even though I do get it, and I do understand, that doesn't make the reality any easier.
I've chronicled the many ups and downs of life since I got together with Jackie. What you probably never expected to hear me say would be that our relationship might end someday.
Well, it's happened.
Now this doesn't come as a big shock to me. She's been emotionally unavailable ever since her son Jason died last July. She can emotionally connect with her two surviving children and grandchildren, but not to me. Jackie has no patience with me now, and pretty much won't let me touch her at any level beyond a chaste hug. So yeah, this isn't surprising.
She's had some very serious upheavals in her life. Five years ago she had three children, a career, a mountain cabin on several acres of beautiful woodland, a nice car, and she was healthy. She could do anything she wanted and life was good. Now she has two children, can't work, no income at all, a rolling piece of shit vehicle that isn't licensed, and her health is terrible. Her weight has been dropping because she has no appetite and has to be careful what she eats because she gets nauseous a lot.
That's a crippling amount of stuff to deal with, and I'm not a terribly easy person to live with. I know what I'm like. I'm a pain in the ass with a cage full of squirrels. She was able to deal back then. Now she can't. I do understand. She didn't choose any of this.
But there it is nonetheless, and I have to deal with it.
This happened last week. I made an attempt at reconciliation a couple of days ago and got rebuffed. She really does want to split up. In the main, that's good to know. There is no uncertainty. I appreciate the honesty. There is a part of me, though, that is really hurt. Even though I do get it, and I do understand, that doesn't make the reality any easier.
