Note: The following post is not BHM specific but I think its relevant to the BHM community.
Having too much spare time today I've been ruminating about the glut of choices we're presented with every day and how in many ways too much choice is at least as bad as too little. Go into the average supermarket to buy the fixings for dinner and you're confronted with literally thousands of choices. Ironically most are pretty poor choices. If one is fortunate enough to live near a Trader Joe's this dilemma is easily remedied.
http://www.theguardian.com/lifeands...e-stressing-us-out-dating-partners-monopolies
Not so easily remedied is the problem presented by the ever expanding universe of dating sites and dating apps. Some issues come to mind: These sites and apps convincingly promise that there is and always will be a never ending supply of dates. They convince people that sexual attraction can be reduced to algorithms, search terms, or a photo gallery.
However, the love lorn rely upon the promise of technology at their peril. As the saying goes time waits of no one. No amount of technology can change the fact that we become less physically attractive with each passing year (not to mention less fertile -- applies to both men and women). Perhaps more importantly, rather than helping us become more marketable in the dating world, over reliance on this technology tends to create stagnation. People seeking fit trim partners -- rather than actually participating in activities where they might meet fit people IRL -- just search of potential dates with athletic bodies. Rather than being a active participant in the local art scene people just claim to be artistic. Rather than participating in real life endeavors that are likely to result in meeting real life people who actually share their interests people get lazy and rely on the representations in profiles not know for their accuracy.
Then there is the Tinder effect. IMHO Tinder has done significant harm to male female dynamic. Using Tinder (or similar apps) pretty much any female between 18 and late middle age can hook-up with a decent looking guy. Guys fortunate enough to be traditionally good looking can of course make out great. But the downside is that encounters with greater probability of actually leading to relationships never happen. Women hook-up with guys who are very unlikely to actually date them and guys who don't make the cut are left wanting. Of course some of the guys who don't make the cut do so because of intrinsic faults -- but many are perfectly dateable. Women get used to being physical with guys who they find very attractive and become likely to find guys who are actually interested in a serious relationship with them wanting.
Taken in toto we have an elite group of guys who (at least until they age out) have an overabundance of willing women. For these "lucky" guys there is little incentive to commit to a serious relationship until they're good and ready (i.e. right before they get too old). Women can internalize unreasonable expectations. Dateable guys with ordinary looks can become bitter. The net result is an ever larger population of single people. While some people claim that single people are actually happier I have a hard time believing that -- we are after all a social species and other means of actual socialization are vanishing as well.
Having too much spare time today I've been ruminating about the glut of choices we're presented with every day and how in many ways too much choice is at least as bad as too little. Go into the average supermarket to buy the fixings for dinner and you're confronted with literally thousands of choices. Ironically most are pretty poor choices. If one is fortunate enough to live near a Trader Joe's this dilemma is easily remedied.
http://www.theguardian.com/lifeands...e-stressing-us-out-dating-partners-monopolies
Not so easily remedied is the problem presented by the ever expanding universe of dating sites and dating apps. Some issues come to mind: These sites and apps convincingly promise that there is and always will be a never ending supply of dates. They convince people that sexual attraction can be reduced to algorithms, search terms, or a photo gallery.
However, the love lorn rely upon the promise of technology at their peril. As the saying goes time waits of no one. No amount of technology can change the fact that we become less physically attractive with each passing year (not to mention less fertile -- applies to both men and women). Perhaps more importantly, rather than helping us become more marketable in the dating world, over reliance on this technology tends to create stagnation. People seeking fit trim partners -- rather than actually participating in activities where they might meet fit people IRL -- just search of potential dates with athletic bodies. Rather than being a active participant in the local art scene people just claim to be artistic. Rather than participating in real life endeavors that are likely to result in meeting real life people who actually share their interests people get lazy and rely on the representations in profiles not know for their accuracy.
Then there is the Tinder effect. IMHO Tinder has done significant harm to male female dynamic. Using Tinder (or similar apps) pretty much any female between 18 and late middle age can hook-up with a decent looking guy. Guys fortunate enough to be traditionally good looking can of course make out great. But the downside is that encounters with greater probability of actually leading to relationships never happen. Women hook-up with guys who are very unlikely to actually date them and guys who don't make the cut are left wanting. Of course some of the guys who don't make the cut do so because of intrinsic faults -- but many are perfectly dateable. Women get used to being physical with guys who they find very attractive and become likely to find guys who are actually interested in a serious relationship with them wanting.
Taken in toto we have an elite group of guys who (at least until they age out) have an overabundance of willing women. For these "lucky" guys there is little incentive to commit to a serious relationship until they're good and ready (i.e. right before they get too old). Women can internalize unreasonable expectations. Dateable guys with ordinary looks can become bitter. The net result is an ever larger population of single people. While some people claim that single people are actually happier I have a hard time believing that -- we are after all a social species and other means of actual socialization are vanishing as well.
