Buffetbelly
Nosh, destroyer of snacks
From:
http://www.lifescript.com/articles/5960.asp?BID=26033&SID=458805&EID=24FAA822-B0FE-4CB0-96A4-BF2DE4EA4CB4
Will Extra Pounds Lead to an Unhappy Marriage?
Sunday, July 2, 2006
http://sel.as-us.falkag.net/sel?cmd...rofile]&dat=145525&opt=0&rdm=3971972288639358An unhappy marriage can be caused by a lack of communication, confusion in a relationship or even a partner’s excess weight. Our last article on overweight partners focused on the problems caused by a spouse’s weight gain, which could potentially lead to relationship problems. Here’s a different scenario: Let’s say that you start casually dating a guy who’s carrying an extra 20 pounds on his frame – not enough to qualify him as obese, but enough to disqualify him from having a toned, lean body. As the years go by, you begin to love him more and more and consider marriage and a future together, and he feels the same – there’s only one problem…
You’ve always dreamed of marrying someone who was svelte and trim – someone who makes you melt with desire when he walks in the room with his Herculean physique. Should you marry your overweight boyfriend anyway and risk losing your desire for him and possibly jeopardizing your happiness? Should you tell him that his losing weight is a condition of getting married? Or, would you be better off breaking up with him and finding someone who already has a good body?
Weight Loss May Not be Permanent
If you love your partner and can envision a wonderful future together, it may seem silly to let 20 pounds prevent a lifetime of love and cause an unhappy marriage. It’s one thing if your partner has other problems that would hinder marriage and intimacy, like disagreeing with your views on children and monogamy. But if his weight is the only thing that’s bothering you and it’s a problem big enough to keep you from being happily married, you may be in for some trouble. Even if your overweight boyfriend does achieve a slim shape for the wedding, who’s to say that he won’t gain it back after the “I do’s” are said? If losing weight is a condition for marriage, is gaining it back a precursor to divorce? Before you even consider tying the knot, make sure you know exactly how much having a svelte spouse matters to you.
Men, remember that women gain weight during pregnancy and many of them can never regain their pre-baby bodies. Even if your wife does have the motivation and willpower to fit diet and exercise into her schedule, there may be permanent physical changes to her body like stretch marks, sagging breasts and a flabby stomach. Men, on the other hand, don’t have such a drastic body-changing milestone to dread, but that doesn’t mean that they’re immune to future weight gain. What happens if your husband has some sort of surgery and has to put his exercising on hold for a month? Will you be completely disgusted and disappointed if he can’t hold on to his muscle tone and good body while he’s recovering? When so much of your happiness rests on your partner having a slim shape, which is something you can’t control, you may be in for an unhappy marriage filled with frustration and unmet desires. You may be better off marrying someone who has already developed lifelong healthy eating habits and exercises regularly. These two things, unlike a perfect body, are something that your partner can realistically hold on to for the rest of his life, even when temporarily confined to bed or in old age.
An Overweight Spouse May Ensure an Unhappy Marriage
If you think you can live with your partner’s excess weight as long as he practices healthy habits, then that’s great. But if being even slightly overweight is a deal-breaker for you, your partner’s healthy habits may not be enough to make you happy. Even if he eats healthy foods, he can still eat too much to burn off through exercise; even if he exercises regularly, it may not be often enough to keep his body in top form. Those who are overweight before the wedding will most likely continue to be overweight throughout the marriage.
What makes a happy marriage? Certainly not spending every day of the rest of your life wishing that your partner had a better body. Also, remember that people who have gained weight in their youth also tend to gain weight as they grow older. The excess pounds your partner has during the wedding may be only the beginning. A 10-pound weight gain in the first few years of marriage would bring their weight from a forgivable 20 pounds too high to a more serious weight problem. If an extra 20 pounds is really that important to you, then don’t try to reason with yourself and force yourself to change your mind. There is nothing wrong with wanting to marry someone who has a good body. You can’t help how you feel and are perfectly justified in knowing what you want in a husband, and you shouldn’t let feelings of guilt trap you in an unhappy marriage. The bottom line is that if you’ve always dreamt of having a trim spouse, then you shouldn’t marry someone who’s overweight. It’s not selfish to know what you desire in a partner, and you’re wasting your life (and your partner’s) if you stay with someone who has a flaw – be it a lack of education, a dislike of animals or extra weight – that prevents you from being happy.
To Tell Or Not To Tell
If you do decide that you won’t be happy with an overweight spouse, then you have a choice to make. If your current boyfriend is perfect in every other aspect except his body, then you may decide to ask him to lose weight for you before taking your relationship further. Be completely honest and let him know that getting engaged and walking down the aisle with any man who is carrying extra pounds on his frame will only lead to your own disappointment and an unhappy marriage. Once he realizes how highly you value a good body, it’s up to him to make the choice about whether or not to lose the weight and stay with you.
http://www.lifescript.com/articles/5960.asp?BID=26033&SID=458805&EID=24FAA822-B0FE-4CB0-96A4-BF2DE4EA4CB4
Will Extra Pounds Lead to an Unhappy Marriage?
Sunday, July 2, 2006
http://sel.as-us.falkag.net/sel?cmd...rofile]&dat=145525&opt=0&rdm=3971972288639358An unhappy marriage can be caused by a lack of communication, confusion in a relationship or even a partner’s excess weight. Our last article on overweight partners focused on the problems caused by a spouse’s weight gain, which could potentially lead to relationship problems. Here’s a different scenario: Let’s say that you start casually dating a guy who’s carrying an extra 20 pounds on his frame – not enough to qualify him as obese, but enough to disqualify him from having a toned, lean body. As the years go by, you begin to love him more and more and consider marriage and a future together, and he feels the same – there’s only one problem…
You’ve always dreamed of marrying someone who was svelte and trim – someone who makes you melt with desire when he walks in the room with his Herculean physique. Should you marry your overweight boyfriend anyway and risk losing your desire for him and possibly jeopardizing your happiness? Should you tell him that his losing weight is a condition of getting married? Or, would you be better off breaking up with him and finding someone who already has a good body?
Weight Loss May Not be Permanent
If you love your partner and can envision a wonderful future together, it may seem silly to let 20 pounds prevent a lifetime of love and cause an unhappy marriage. It’s one thing if your partner has other problems that would hinder marriage and intimacy, like disagreeing with your views on children and monogamy. But if his weight is the only thing that’s bothering you and it’s a problem big enough to keep you from being happily married, you may be in for some trouble. Even if your overweight boyfriend does achieve a slim shape for the wedding, who’s to say that he won’t gain it back after the “I do’s” are said? If losing weight is a condition for marriage, is gaining it back a precursor to divorce? Before you even consider tying the knot, make sure you know exactly how much having a svelte spouse matters to you.
Men, remember that women gain weight during pregnancy and many of them can never regain their pre-baby bodies. Even if your wife does have the motivation and willpower to fit diet and exercise into her schedule, there may be permanent physical changes to her body like stretch marks, sagging breasts and a flabby stomach. Men, on the other hand, don’t have such a drastic body-changing milestone to dread, but that doesn’t mean that they’re immune to future weight gain. What happens if your husband has some sort of surgery and has to put his exercising on hold for a month? Will you be completely disgusted and disappointed if he can’t hold on to his muscle tone and good body while he’s recovering? When so much of your happiness rests on your partner having a slim shape, which is something you can’t control, you may be in for an unhappy marriage filled with frustration and unmet desires. You may be better off marrying someone who has already developed lifelong healthy eating habits and exercises regularly. These two things, unlike a perfect body, are something that your partner can realistically hold on to for the rest of his life, even when temporarily confined to bed or in old age.
An Overweight Spouse May Ensure an Unhappy Marriage
If you think you can live with your partner’s excess weight as long as he practices healthy habits, then that’s great. But if being even slightly overweight is a deal-breaker for you, your partner’s healthy habits may not be enough to make you happy. Even if he eats healthy foods, he can still eat too much to burn off through exercise; even if he exercises regularly, it may not be often enough to keep his body in top form. Those who are overweight before the wedding will most likely continue to be overweight throughout the marriage.
What makes a happy marriage? Certainly not spending every day of the rest of your life wishing that your partner had a better body. Also, remember that people who have gained weight in their youth also tend to gain weight as they grow older. The excess pounds your partner has during the wedding may be only the beginning. A 10-pound weight gain in the first few years of marriage would bring their weight from a forgivable 20 pounds too high to a more serious weight problem. If an extra 20 pounds is really that important to you, then don’t try to reason with yourself and force yourself to change your mind. There is nothing wrong with wanting to marry someone who has a good body. You can’t help how you feel and are perfectly justified in knowing what you want in a husband, and you shouldn’t let feelings of guilt trap you in an unhappy marriage. The bottom line is that if you’ve always dreamt of having a trim spouse, then you shouldn’t marry someone who’s overweight. It’s not selfish to know what you desire in a partner, and you’re wasting your life (and your partner’s) if you stay with someone who has a flaw – be it a lack of education, a dislike of animals or extra weight – that prevents you from being happy.
To Tell Or Not To Tell
If you do decide that you won’t be happy with an overweight spouse, then you have a choice to make. If your current boyfriend is perfect in every other aspect except his body, then you may decide to ask him to lose weight for you before taking your relationship further. Be completely honest and let him know that getting engaged and walking down the aisle with any man who is carrying extra pounds on his frame will only lead to your own disappointment and an unhappy marriage. Once he realizes how highly you value a good body, it’s up to him to make the choice about whether or not to lose the weight and stay with you.
