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Why do i sometimes feel guilty???

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Haunted

Bi-Coastal!!!
Joined
Mar 2, 2006
Messages
662
Location
,
I tend to go on and on about my Long distance relationship here and hopefully, You don't all see me as "that Guy" you know the guy that can only seem to post about one thing, the one that elicits the response "ok you love her and she's far away we get it" Lmao so hopefully i haven't reached that status yet.

Any way just throwing this out there and i'd love some feedback, I find that i tend to objectify her quite a lot. And I’v talked about this before, she totally doesn’t mind actually likes it and I think it has to do with the fact that she rarely gets this much attention about her body (my attention is a different kind of attention than what she gets from members to her site I’m sure the other models can understand.) so when I get all gaga over her big sexy body it’s somewhat affirming that yes I find her damn sexy!
Now we both share the feeding, stuffing, and, gaining fetish and I tend to get way into it at times, so much so that it starts to become an obsession, she’ll talk about heading out for a big lunch and I will at times start to beg for details, or suggest she stop off for dessert. I’v had her tell me she’s eaten so much she feels like she may throw up, and I can hear her breathing is labored from the full tummy pushing on her diaphragm, at this point my head is spinning and my legs get weak. The first time she had a pig out session and gave me all the details over the phone I felt like I was going to faint (this was my first real experience with her overeating and I had never really experienced it before but it left a lasting impression). We fantasize and role play a lot with these kinks. We write each other stories, some of these stories take on a very extreme angle to the feeding and weight gain we role play over the phone usually while I’m driving back from the North Shore (funny how a lot of these fantasies are born on route 128 lol) Any way she loves to tease me after she’s had a huge meal or when she’s getting ready to go have a big dinner and like I said this tends to occupy every thought when we get on these tears. Ultimately though I end up feeling guilty about this obsession and that stems from if I where outside looking at this exchange between her and I. I would see a man who loves her for her size and only for her size I would see the monster that is hellbent on encouraging her to gain and then I remember all those past threads that come out against the feeders. The difference I think is that for the most part this is a fantasy and I would never push her to do anything against what she would normally do. I do not expect her to gain but if she does I promise to enjoy it. And on the other hand if she loses or decides to lose I will always love her but being an fa and I’m just being honest so please be gentle, if she were to lose too much it would probably be hard for me to still find her as attractive.

That being said my main guilt is based on the insane obsession I experience when she plays into the fantasy, I know it looks like I’m some creep that just wants to fatten this poor girl up and in the heat of the moment that’s kind of how I feel, But she is so much more to me she is my everything and I see such an amazing future for us. So why do I become such a one track minded fool when this comes up why do objectify her so much why is sex and the physical such crutch for me. The only thing I can think of is because of the distance. We have all the emotional connections over the phone and on chat but we can’t have any physical unless one of us travels the 3000 miles and we can only do this 3 maybe 4 times a year. So I end up obsessing over her and any physical. is it wrong? Maybe a little but under these circumstances It helps.
 

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