ZAFTIG By Matt L.

[Matt L.]

ZAFTIG BY MATT L.

It was a cozy little deli located in a swanky north side Chicago neighborhood.

A pair of close friends, working their way through college, they had much in common, though were nothing alike.

Rachel Steinberg, her black mane in a short stylish hairdo, flattering her cute features while her pudgy apple shaped figure was pleasantly attired in her teal and green colored uniform.

Spunky and energetic, Rachel had a sharp wit and most of all, was comfortable with her fuller figure.

“Two corn beef sandwiches to go!” Rachel yelled out to Karen Coen, her closet friend, voted ‘Miss Popular’ the year they graduated from Sullivan High School.

Karen despised working in the kitchen, but it was her turn, nothing she could do about that.

“Coming right up!” Karen snapped, rubbing her eyes with the side of her hand before starting the sandwiches.

Karen was a svelte young woman and just a tad high maintenance. Ash brown hair, long and usually meticulously styled, highlighting her charming oval shaped face while the uniform prominently accented her feminine assets.

Karen placed the sandwiches into the brown paper bag and slid it over the counter, “Here ya go, sport!”

Rachel rendered Karen a silly gape then resumed her duties at the cash register.
“Almost nine o’clock”, Karen dramatically noted, “Time to close up shop!”

Rachel fleetingly gazed over at the clock and sighed, “Nah, you know how strict Barney is about business, better too keep the deli open until it’s nine on the head.”

Karen cheekily disagreed, “Oh please, what will it hurt if we close ten minutes early? It’s not like we’ll get anymore customers.”

“I think Barney would appreciate it if we abide by the rules”, Rachel replied.

“Fine!” Karen grumbled, “There’s no crime in cleaning up early, so I’ll be tiding up the kitchen.”

Rachel walked into the kitchen where Karen was washing various utensils.

“I meant to tell you, Roger Larkin dropped by on his way to Wrigley Field”, Rachel good naturedly teased Karen, “He was looking mega sheyne too.”

Karen held her hands to her hips, a disgruntled expression flashing over her gorgeous face, “Oy! What good is it having me work back here like some misshapen troll!”

“You know Barney’s rule”, Rachel giggled as she reminded Karen, “Everyone gets a turn working in the kitchen so they‘ll be no favoritism.”

Karen puffed up cheeks and sighed, “Yeah but keeping me back here is inane, and I can’t socialize with the customers_.”

Rachel loudly chuckled, “You mean, you can’t fraternize with the cool guys like Roger.”

“I need to find another occupation”, a frustrated timbre resonating through Karen’s voice.

Rachel squinted at Karen, “You’re kidding. Friday you’ll be at the register, it’s my turn in the kitchen.”

Karen folded her arms under her shapely breasts, “Cooped up back here isn‘t doing my figure any favors, I nibble all the time, working here is gonna make me fat.”

Rachel was quite familiar with Karen’s obsessive nature pertaining to her weight and was ready with a reply.
“I should be so jealous, your figure is flawless.”

Karen tilted her head, “There’s nothing to be jealous of, if you only knew the lengths I go through to keep myself from turning into a blimp.”

Rachel noisy exhaled, “You’ve been working here for almost a year and haven’t gained a pound.”

“I’m heavier than I look!” Karen screeched.

Rachel blissfully chuckled as she playfully squeezed a handful of her plump belly, “You’re not heavier than me!”

An incommodious expression blemished Karen’s face, “You’ve always been chubby, you’re totally comfortable about your appearance, it’s different for me.”

“You’re making a big deal over nothing”, Rachel buzzed, “So what if you put on a couple of pounds, your real friends wouldn’t disown you.”

“You don’t understand”, Karen’s whine matching her pout.

Rachel benevolently gazed over Karen, “I understand far better than you think. You’re afraid your popularity will go into the can if you get chubby.”

“You’re trying to convince me it wouldn’t?” Karen remarked.

Rachel helped herself to a bag of chips, “If you keep hanging out with shallow types, I imagine it would. But there are a lot of guys who like thick chicks.”

Karen rolled here eyes, “I don’t know any guys like that.”

Rachel bestowed Karen a comical smirk, “Oy, you should be so lucky but there are plenty of them out there. Ernest Schoedsack for instance.”
Karen blurted, “Meh! I guess he’s alright but not my type.”
“Sweet and charming, not your type?” Rachel giddily responded.
“Ernest is nice, sure but other than that_.”
Rachel interrupted Karen, “You’re just as shallow as those guys you like. It’s not the cover but what’s inside the book that counts.”


Karen drifted over to Rachel and helped herself to a few potato chips.
As habit dictated, Karen brought the topic back to her “Thing is, since I began working here, watching my waistline is getting harder than ever. I gain five pounds; lose it and then it creeps back. It’s an experience you don’t need.”

Rachel casually grinned, “My grandma Minnie often tells me, never grouse over what to expect, when it could be the sweetest surprise.”

Karen intensely grimaced, “Grandma Minnie. Isn’t she the one that still pines for that old cowboy actor?”

Rachel opened a can of cherry cola, “Yeah, Randolph Scott. What difference does that make? Thing is, you’re much too obsessive with your weight. Loosen up, Karen. You’re thoughtful and smart and gorgeous. Whatever weight you might put on wouldn’t matter, you‘d still be a beautiful woman.”

Karen softly groaned, “You sound like my mother.”
“Is that a bad thing?” Rachel chuckled.

“Just let’s close up the shop and get out of here”, Karen annoying snapped, “It’s nine o’clock and the night’s still young.”


Rachel handed her friend the bag of chips, “Guess so but I have to say, you’d have no misgivings about your weight had you never been thin.”

“Easy for you too say”, Anne cantankerously replied, “You ignore the scale.”

Rachel obliged her friend and deserted the kitchen, traveling to the front of deli where she was too lock the door and hang up the ’We’re Closed’ sign.

However, just as Rachel reached the door, she was greeted by a lone female customer within the shop‘s entrance.

“Sorry we’re closed”, Rachel politely informed the old woman clad in gloomy attire.


A dark red babushka concealing her short silver mane with big sunglasses covering her eyes.
Her prune like face was rippled with lines and her thin almost fragile looking body in a black raincoat over a faded gray gown.


She spoke with a thick Baltic accent, “All I’d like is a Pastrami sandwich on rye, a side of cole slaw and coffee, black if you please no cream or sugar.”

“To go?” Rachel asked as the old woman slithered into the deli.

The old woman looked over the vacant tables before telling Rachel, “I’ll take a seat over there.”

Rachel puffed up her cheeks and shrugged her shoulders, “I’ll ring it up for you.”

Rachel stepped behind the counter and advanced upon the cash register, “That come’s too $5.25.”

The old woman removed a tattered black colored change purse from out of her imitation leopard skin handbag and paid for her meal with four singles and a combination of quarters, dimes and pennies.”

Rachel tilted her head and smiled, “Take a seat; I’ll bring it over to you.”

The old woman strolled toward the table she selected, Rachel calling out to Karen, “A number four with cole slaw!”

Karen peeked in back and noticed Karen opening another bag of chips.

“Thought you were concerned about your weight”, Rachel snickered.

Karen bit into a chip, “What? So I’m hungry. Anyway, it‘s better to munch now than later in case somebody wants to go out for pizza.”

“And about the lady’s order?” Rachel questioned with a comical grin, “You planning on making it today or should she come back tomorrow?”
Karen consumed a handful of chips, “Yeah about that. I thought we were closed?”

Rachel gently removed the bag of chips from Karen’s grip, “Just fix the order while I fetch her coffee.”

“For this I’m going to college?” Karen smirked.

Karen sluggishly prepared the order much like an arduous task that didn’t hold her interest while Rachel brought the old woman her coffee.

Rachel warmly smiled at the woman as she placed the coffee on the table.

“I’ll have your sandwich in a minute.”

The old woman looked to Rachel without a word spoken.

Rachel made a beeline into the kitchen.

“How’s the sandwich going? That old woman gives me the willies.”

“Sandwich is ready”, Karen told Rachel as she dipped a large spoon into the cole slaw container, “How many calories does cole slaw have?”

Rachel stood next to Karen, observing her dainty precision in the task, “The cabbage is fine but the mayo is fattening.”

Karen filled the small plastic bowl to the rim, “It would have to be fattening. If I wasn‘t watching my figure, I‘d eat cole slaw all the time.”

Rachel set the food on a tray, “Well then, keep snacking on those carrot sticks if you want to stay thin and miserable rather than fat and happy!”

“Bite me!” Karen sarcastically retorted.

Rachel meandered back to the old lady, food tray in hand.

“Here you go, can I get you anything else?” Rachel serenely warbled.

The old woman lifted up her glasses, her eyes zeroing in on Rachel’s face.

Rachel couldn’t shake the eerie vibes echoing through her well-nourished body as the old woman gazed over her.
Rachel nervously cleared her throat, the old woman affably grinned, “You seemed disturbed, yes?”

Rachel tilted her head, her facial features twisting into a perplexed gape.
“Very”, Rachel softly admitted.

After sampling the sandwich, the old woman assured her in a calm timbre, “You needn’t be nervous around me.”
The old woman enjoyed another bite, “Hmmm, not a bad sandwich.”

Her boney fingers grasped the coffee cup and she questioned Rachel as she brought the cup to her thin lips, “Working here long time, sweetie?”

Rachel felt oddly obligated too admit, “Since senior year of High school, me and my friend Karen. She made the sandwich.”

“Well now”, The old woman smiled, pausing too snip off a tiny morsel of a bite before acknowledging Rachel’s answer. “She’s handy in the kitchen.”

Rachel began to feel relaxed in the old woman’s company and she giggled, “Don’t let Karen hear you say that!”

The old woman spoke as she leisurely nibbled, “Karen can’t be so modest not to accept credit, is she ashamed of her work?”

Rachel felt an impulsive urge to sit down and glided her eyes toward the empty chair across the table.

“Take a seat and humor an old woman with some idle chatter”, She half-smiled, “Not like the place is busy. And the name’s Zelda.”
Rachel beamed a wide smile, “Sure, I suppose I have some time too shmooz.”

Zelda sighed upon sipping the coffee then nosily inquired, “Karen doesn’t take much pride in her kitchen work? Vos iz?”

Rachel unconditionally related her friend’s qualms, “She doesn’t mind making sandwiches, it’s being stuck in the kitchen that has her worried. Karen’s afraid of getting zaftig.”

“That so?” Zelda questioned.

Rachel nodded, “Karen’s very self-conscious about her weight and I mean excessively obsessed. She’s totally verklempt.”

Zelda briefly paused from eating, “And how do you feel about yourself? You’re a rather plump princess.”

Rachel leaned back in her chair and glided her hand over her bulging belly, “Makes no difference too me, I’ve always been chubby.”

Rachel flexed her eyebrows as she silently reflected, then joyously admitted, “Karen wouldn’t be so fixated about her weight had she never experienced being thin.”

“Is that your wish?” Zelda asked.

“Huh?” Rachel blinked.

“That Karen was never thin?” Zelda bluntly inquired.

“I guess?” Rachel apprehensively replied.

Zelda squinted, a strict tone too her warble, “Tell me true, how’d you imagine your friend?”


Rachel pulled back her head and lightly giggled, “Oh wow, I can imagine a lot.”

“Well then”, Zelda grinned, “Karen would be happier, wouldn’t you suppose?”

Rachel exuberantly grinned, “Yeah, given the fact that she wouldn’t need to weigh herself a couple times a day and ate whatever she enjoyed without worrying about the calories, Karen would be much happier.”

Zelda wiped her lips with the napkin, “Ahf tsu loches.”

Zelda’s bones creaked and she released a strenuous sigh as she eased herself out of the chair.

“Walk with me to the door”, Zelda invited Rachel.

 

[Matt L.]